Aspiring to the ATeam
by pacejunkie
Summary: A series of related vignettes from season one.


**Title:** Aspiring to the A-Team

**Rating:** PG/K+

**Summary:** Three related vignettes from season one

**Characters:** Charlie, Boone, Shannon, Arzt

**Word Count:** 1,886

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Lost.

* * *

Life was slowly returning to whatever passes for normal on the island. Claire was remembering again, albeit slowly, Ethan was dead and the illusion of safety had returned. Looking after Claire became Charlie's new full time job, and the others were happy to let him do it, Jack and Kate having moved on to more important adventures. Charlie wondered when that transition had happened; remembering the time he spent with them, and then came to the conclusion that it had been his choice. He had opted to stay close to Claire, and his friends had gotten the message and backed off.

Charlie was mostly fine with it, except when they treated him like a child. That had started after the abduction. He used to be as sturdy as everyone else, but now they all treated him like he was made of matchsticks. Jack discovering his drug addiction didn't help either. The doctor said he wouldn't think of him differently but Charlie could tell Jack questioned his judgment after that. He began talking down to him more and checking on him secretly like a pet that had gone astray one too many times. He hated that, and every now and then as he saw Sayid tinker with his radio and Kate go investigating plane detritus in the jungle, Charlie wondered if he made the right choice. Keeping Claire safe in the here and now was not going to get them rescued, and had done little to earn him respect.

"Hey," said Boone, joining Charlie in the cave where he played his guitar. "How's Claire doing?"

Charlie wondered why everybody asked him that, instead of asking Claire.

"She's getting better," he said. "Jack said she might have the baby any day now."

He realized as he said it his voice had a touch of pride, as if the baby were his. Sometimes Charlie had to remind himself that that wasn't the case.

"Good," said Boone, "You know we all did our best to try and find her. I guess in the end she found us."

"Whatever works," said Charlie, strumming his guitar idly. It was a bit awkward to be chatting with Boone since the two hardly ever spoke. Charlie wondered whether this sudden friendliness was because Boone had something to say.

"I noticed you and Locke are spending quite a bit of time together," Charlie noted, changing the subject.

In truth, Charlie was feeling a bit put out there as well. Locke had helped Charlie overcome his heroin addiction, told him he was a fan of his music. True, the guy was a bit scary but Charlie had thought Locke would be a decent bloke to have around for guidance. It wasn't like Charlie knew how to hunt for food. Besides, the geezer had actually taken an interest in him and that was remarkable enough. Charlie decided the great hunter must have gotten bored with him and moved on to a new challenge. Maybe there was something about Boone Locke hoped to fix.

"First Shannon, now you?" Boone snapped. Charlie must have touched a nerve, one Boone's sister had already exposed. She seemed particularly skilled at that.

"What are you doing out there, if you don't mind my asking," Charlie asked casually, ignoring the rebuke, "because in case you haven't noticed there are all manner of creatures in that jungle just waiting to kill us."

"I've noticed," said Boone. "I'm not exactly sure what we're doing to be honest, but whatever it is, I get the feeling it's important."

"Important like how?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know, maybe something that could get us rescued," said Boone. "I just want to contribute. We're all sitting around here doing nothing waiting for help to find us. Jack, Kate and Sayid… those guys act like it's all up to them or something, like no one else can do anything. Well I never voted for them, I'm tired of being ignored."

Charlie strummed some more, uninspired. "I'm tired of being kidnapped and strung up in trees. I guess you and I have different priorities."

"Yeah, I guess so," said Boone, rising. "But if I can help get everyone off this island one day sooner so no one else has to die or be attacked then I want to do that."

Charlie glanced up and watched Boone leave to join Locke on another trek. _Risking your neck to be a hero?_ That was fine for Boone but Charlie was simply content to stay out of trouble, play his guitar, keep an eye on Claire and wait for her child to enter the world. He may have missed his circle of courageous leader-friends but he'd seen enough adventure to last a lifetime.

* * *

She hadn't spoken to anyone since losing Boone, and Charlie knew what that was like. He had gone nearly a week without speaking to anyone when Claire went missing. The only difference was he had been given a second chance with Claire. Boone wasn't ever coming back to Shannon.

"Shannon?" asked Charlie, approaching her with care but feeling he had to nonetheless.

Sure the two hadn't always gotten along so well but this sort of thing transcended petty squabbles. She looked different than before -- not just sad but broken and soft, like a hard-boiled egg without its shell. She didn't respond to his greeting but there was a flicker of a reaction in her eyes. Charlie took it for an invitation.

"I'm sorry about Boone," he said, sitting down next to her.

She sat with her hair hanging like a curtain in front of her face, staring down between her knees. Charlie didn't think he had ever seen her without her hair up and styled, dressed in pink and high heels in the sand, stubbornly resisting going native, as though it would be a bit too much reality. But now it was like reality finally hit her with the force of a bullet train.

"You know he spoke to me just before he went out with Locke that day," said Charlie, hoping to get her attention. "He told me how he wanted to contribute, and find a way to get us rescued. It was just like him."

"Yeah, thanks," said Shannon.

_This was hard_, thought Charlie. _Just what do you say anyway?_ There really were no words, so he just sat with her for a while, ready to listen if she wanted to talk, or alternatively leave if she asked him too.

She didn't.

"He was always putting himself in danger, the idiot," she spat finally, "Always had to be the freaking superhero and for what?"

Charlie wasn't sure if it was a rhetorical question, so he waited a bit before responding. "He was a good person. It was the only way he knew how to be."

Shannon rolled her eyes and looked at him. She may have seemed angry but Charlie saw nothing but pain in her expression. "Only the good die young is that it?" she said, "Well if that's the reward you get for being a hero around here then it's not going to be me."

"Yeah," said Charlie, nodding, looking down the beach to where Michael and others were building the raft. "I don't think it'll be me either."

* * *

Arzt was fun to hang with. Sure the guy was middle-aged and crotchety but he had the coolest collection of insects that Charlie had ever seen. When Charlie spent time with Arzt, he felt like he was back in school, listening to his teachers prattle on about this or that with no more worries than exam scores and who to take to the next dance. Arzt may have been bitter but he was harmless, and he sure knew his bugs.

"Look at them over there," said Arzt one time when Charlie was examining a poisonous spider in a jar.

Charlie looked up to see Jack, Kate and Locke conferring in a tight circle. All three had severe expressions.

"There they go again," Arzt said.

"What?" said Charlie, not quite getting it.

"Well it's not like they'd tell us is it?" he remarked. "Doesn't it bother you that only a few choice people ever seem to make the decisions around here? And if anything important was going on do you think they'd tell us? No, they would not."

"I wouldn't worry," said Charlie, "as long as they've got things under control."

"Oh you think so huh?" he shot back. "How do we know that the people who are after us aren't angry because of them? Maybe we need different leadership."

Charlie looked at Arzt and smiled, replacing the jar back on the shelf, "What, _you_? Are you volunteering?"

"Listen, buddy," Arzt said, pointing a finger at Charlie's chest. "I may not be six feet tall with a chiseled jaw but I can lead with the best of them. You think it's easy commanding sixty seventh graders? I get them to respect me and if I can do that I could win over anyone. I have field experience. What have they got?"

Charlie shrugged. "Jack's a doctor. Sayid was a soldier. Locke's a… he brought knives."

"_Hmph_," said Arzt, unimpressed, "just give me a chance and I'll show them. They're not so special. I know science, weather, plants and animals… there's plenty I know that they don't."

Charlie was willing to bet Arzt didn't know a whole lot about columns of black smoke that ate people, but he kept this comment to himself.

* * *

Charlie was reminded of that conversation just a few days later, when Arzt came to him excited and in a hurry.

"Charlie! Charlie, they need me!" he said, "I told you they would!"

"What for?" he asked him.

"Those imbeciles are following that French lunatic into the jungle to go after hundred year old dynamite. Can you believe it? They don't know what the hell they're doing -- they're going to get themselves _killed_. I tell you, it's just lucky for them I'm here," said Arzt.

Charlie was impressed. "They told you this?"

"Well, actually no," said Arzt, frowning, "Hurley's telling anyone who'll listen. Seems he got picked by the cool kids too. I don't know how he does it. Where I come from kids like him would have spitball hairdos."

Charlie picked up the cue of Arzt's enthusiasm, "That's great Arzt. Er… have fun, I suppose."

"I studied dynamite," said Arzt proudly, "I know its components and how it behaves. They're going to be looking to old Doc Arzt for answers, I tell you that."

"Go get 'em mate," said Charlie, "it's very… heroic of you."

"Yeah," said Arzt smiling, "yeah I guess it is, isn't it?"

Charlie watched him as he trudged off happily. A short while later Charlie wished Kate good luck and watched as she, Jack, Locke, Arzt and Hurley disappeared into the brush and that small, sad feeling returned. No one had asked him to go. They never even considered him anymore when it came to these missions. Maybe they assumed that he would prefer to be watching Claire and the baby on the beach. But Charlie used to be an adventurer. Once, just once, he wished they would remember that.

Charlie knew that somewhere inside, given half a chance, he had the makings of a hero too.


End file.
